THE MYSTERIOUS GUY (part 3)

Maybe as you were reading through the first parts of this story you were beginning to feel drowsy because of the pity party tone assumed by the writer. Feel not condemned because that is actually how I felt often. In my teenagehood and during my campus life, I had identified a father figure. I considered him as a father. He catered for part of my high school education and opened his doors for me. I had come so close to experiencing a functional family. Then life happened! (For the sake of this story I will gloss over the details of what really happened and maybe, later on, I will give you the full account).

The thing with looking up to someone so much and letting them assume a role of importance in your life is that when they hurt you, they really hurt you! I was familiar with the verse that the power of life and death lies in the tongue but never had I actually experienced the fullness of this power yet; at least the negative side of it. My father figure would one day say very hurtful things to me. Things that would rip my heart apart and kill my spirit. That was my first actual heartbreak and boy did it sting! After this incidence, I swore to myself that I would never refer to any man as a father except God and my father-in-law later on in life. This scar dented my heart badly but what the enemy meant for evil, God turned it around for good. This was the beginning of my personal encounters with God. I would become more conscious of God’s fatherly nature.

The role of a father in one’s life cannot be easily neglected or wished away. Even as a young adult the curiosity of his identity still bugged me. One time I started replaying the usual questions in my head, “Who is he? Does he have dimples? Is he an extrovert?” but this time I started praying about it, asking God to orchestrate our meeting. I mean, think about it: God is omnipresent and omniscient. So He knows where this mysterious guy is and his identity even. So I assumed He could easily just make us meet. Unlike other times, sleeping on it didn’t take away these thoughts. They lingered for days. Little did I know that this was my burning bush to draw my attention to Him-the unfailing Father.

On this particular week that I had been thinking and wondering how different my life would have been, a friend called me in an unusual manner on a Sunday morning. (I had stopped going to church & would just sleep the whole day on Sunday.) She invited me to this new church she had started attending. I thought to myself, “why not?” and off I went. This was a divine appointment I tell you. My friend, being new to this church had mistaken the hours for the service. So we arrived an hour later into the service. The worship session was almost coming to a close and the worship leader was leading, “good good father”. 

A few minutes into the service, a lady went to the front and shared a word of knowledge; “I hear God saying to you, I don’t know who you are but He says; “let me be your father. I can be a better father than your earthly father. Your earthly father may have failed you but I won’t…” I cannot remember the whole message but this was a tagging at my heart. I knew that was my message. I could tell He was talking to me. It was not a coincidence that my friend had called me to come to their church this day. It was not a coincidence that the whole of that week I had been restless about who my actual dad is. Nothing in God is a coincidence!

This message was as rejuvenating to my spirit as the smell of the first raindrops on the soil to a farmer’s nose. This was the beginning of my journey to healing. I still am healing, from his absence and from the hurtful words from my “adopted father figure”. God has faithfully assumed His role as my father in ways that only He could. Last year was especially the year that I became more aware of Him as a father. I knew Him as ‘Our Father who art in heaven” but now the narrative has changed to “my Father”. His hand of provision and protection has been ever so upon me. I can think of times when He guarded me against danger and even from my own folly. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I still do not admire a functional family but I am now aware that He is able to fill in the gap in my heart that was formed when my dad walked away. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may actually never get to know him but what matters is that I am known by a Father who is too faithful to ever leave me.

I am aware of the effects of growing up without a father; the daddy issues, looking for a father in men that come your way, sometimes being unknowingly arrogant and hostile to men even those who mean well, being too suspicious, always wanting to be in control even when you know that it is the guy’s place to do so…the list goes on and on. However, I am more aware of the healing power of the cross. I know that the Holy Spirit is well able to teach a stubborn and high headed girl submission. I know that there is power in the cross to heal a wounded heart and make it receptive to love. I know that no daddy issues can stand against the Daddy. It is a journey that I am willing to take. I know I’m on the right path because I would never have openly talked about this leave alone writing it down and leaving ‘evidence’ behind.

This morning I woke up and my heart was heavy. I cried thinking about how life would have been different if only I had known him even for a day. I decided I would write down how I feel in spite of many months of not writing. Maybe it’s because you need to hear that God is in the business of fathering those of us who have had to live by the imaginations of who a good father is. Your dad may be alive but not present in your life, he may have been gone in the way of all men, you may not know who that mysterious guy is but whatever the case, God is your Father. Acknowledge Him, let Him assume this role in your life…I have seen Him do it for me. He still does. You can talk to Him about your fears, your pains, your joys. He listens. He speaks. I know because He spoke to me.

I may be late for the party but just a few hours late. I can’t think of a better way to end this than to say: “Happy Father’s Day God! I have known you as a father, I have known you as a friend and I have lived in the goodness of God…”

-

If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!
Matthew 7:11 AMPC

 Based on a true story from our anonymous guest writer