ISLAND LOVE

Hello, I'm Franny.  A French citizen but not from France. I am from two small French Islands close to Madagascar. I was born on an island where the population is 90% Muslim, and 10% is mostly foreigners. My dad is from this island and he is Muslim but he is of French and African descent. My mom is from the other Island where all religions are celebrated and Christians can be invited to join the Eïd dinner or the Kamoul banquet. She is catholic, she went to my dad's island for a work opportunity and she lived there longer than me. They had me and broke up when I was 2years old because he was not mature enough to be a dad. He didn't really understand what my mother was expecting from him, you see my dad has 17 siblings because his dad was polygamous and his understanding of being a father is way different than my mom's because of their different backgrounds.

I was raised by my mom and I used to visit my dad and his family although this was to change when I was 8 years old because they reconciled and had my sister. I didn't really enjoy having a male authority in the house, I was not used to it. My dad now wanted my mom, my sister and I to become Muslim. However, my mom did not share the same values and opinions as his so they started to disagree more and more on how to raise us. They broke up after 2years because he cheated on her. My mom told me she'd seen a message from another woman on his phone. But that was the official reason, I know that my mom was tired of their relationship and didn't like the way he'd changed. 

Two months after they broke up, we heard rumours that he was going to remarry. I couldn't believe so I asked him, he denied it. He lied. One month after that he officially remarried and was building a house with his new wife. He didn't invite me to his wedding. When I asked him why he lied, he said 'Franny, people are going to disappoint you, you have to keep that in mind so you will never be surprised'. I was ten years old and basically, he was saying don't trust anyone and don't expect much from people...the other gender. I was shocked and from that point, I have never forgotten his 'advice'. I don't date, I don't trust men that way, I like my male friends but I don't go further than that. I am just not able to find someone special and I don't want to end up being anybody's fool. 

I was raised by my mom, my aunts and grandmother. All my cousins from my mother's side are like me: their fathers from the 1st island and their mothers from the second Island and all separated. Women that raised their children practically by themselves and helped each other: Lionesses. We love and respect our fathers but we don't share the same values and views of life. I have no grandfathers because my dad's father passed away a long time ago, the only one I can consider as one is my aunt's dad but he is a terrible person that we erased from our lives. The identity of my mother's dad was discovered recently but he doesn't really care about us.

I had a really bad perception of relationships and men. Rape was a big problem in the Island I was born in, it happened to little girls in my primary school for example and I was even asked by my mother not to trust and stay alone with my own uncles because several little girls had been raped by members of their family. I have never been in love, the only time I dated a man we broke up after 2 weeks because it was not making any sense to me. My sister thought I was a lesbian. They are gorgeous but I don't think of women that way. I think I have trust issues with men when it comes to dating and intimacy and for several legit reasons. 

I would love to finish my story by saying I am not a bitter person. I think my dad is a great person he just made some bad decisions. I do talk to my dad even though right now I am very far from home. I feel truly blessed by God. Every time things were looking desperate, a great opportunity was given to me. I have had the opportunity to work overseas and meet new people and to be independent. I'm surrounded by people and family who care for me. Love will eventually come one day.... someday.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31‭-‬32 NIV

True story of Franny*{not her real name}