Dear younger me: BEHOLD! BE BOLD! BE YOU!

Hey Shawty!

You are a fully-fledged adult now.  Can you believe it? Congratulations, wake up and smell the coffee you are now seventeen. You wanted to be an adult so bad but now we want time to slow down.

Remember when you thought that life starts after you join campus? No. It is a series of lessons that will mold you into a better person. Brace yourself for the ride of your lifetime. I will try to minimize on the trailer for the show of your life is about to start.

You will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay, let them get their gin, rum, konyagi or busaa whatever pleases them.  Your heart or mind is quite an expensive place to rent. Rejection is a blessing in disguise. Do not rent these places to cheap, good for nothing people who always want freebies. You owe them nothing.  My sweet dear, you don’t always have to have the last word; sometimes silence is the best response to quiet a fool. You aren't their cup of tea delete or unfriend the blinkards.  You have always been kind and full of empathy and that will remain, mum taught you well, kindness and empathy are not weaknesses. Leave the clowns who do not recognize that. You are a good person, let this keep you strong during the tough times when people take advantage of you.

Every relationship has a purpose that helps us grow and become stronger. The most challenging relationships teach us about forgiveness and patience. My dear, no relationship is worth you losing your self-respect, self-esteem, and anything that affects self. If he loves you, he will wake up, dress up, and show up. That standard remains even if you are the last to get hitched. Better be late than sorry, trust me! My dear, please do not be derailed by those concupiscent men who are just after that curvaceous body, I mean if they fall for the curves only, what will keep them next to you when a curvier one shows up? You will get love in abundance, oh he will adore you mi amor, just be patient he is coming.

As long as you have Mom, you have a home and your greatest cheerleader. She will love you despite your perceived failures. Dad is gone but mom is with you; please cherish her; call her; visit her. She will not live forever, nobody does. Make time. Mom will be your best friend. Funny right, knowing the way she is strict. When you grow up, you will want to be just like her, learn from her mistakes, her wisdom will be yours. As much as she is tough on you, she will fiercely defend you, no one will ever mess with her baby girl. You are her indisputable favorite.

Try not to take things personally; what people say about you is a reflection of their insecurities. Do not be available to everyone especially if they have shown you that you have no place in their life. If they want, they will put you on their priority list. If not shape up and ship out. If you are not their priority or option, why value their opinions? You will have to learn to disregard barking dogs that don’t bite. Wear that six-inch darling, walk like the earth is your runway, the stars are your audience, and the damn universe your crown.

why value their opinions?

As lady Gaga said, read more, chase that career, take that second degree, that Ph.D. If you may because it will never wake up one day and say I don't love you anymore. The It is not you; it is me kind of drivel. Where purpose, passion, and skill collide, bliss resides.  This sounds like fluffy hogwash but it’s your reason for not worrying about knowing what path or profession you want to choose when you enter college — just be open, try everything and listen to how you feel. Purpose. Passion. Skill. Collide them. (Heads-up, they change so don’t get too comfy).

Travel dear. I know you will think you are wasting time but you will make more friends than you can imagine. Go, to that road trip or that date at JKUAT AICAD. Date that German, get to know him. You only Die once. Nobody gets out of this world alive. Show up for coffee dates with your girlfriends, those cocktail drinks (Alcohol is bad for your health btw). Meet and greet new people. Who cares if they didn’t wash their hands when they left the toilet earlier? Don’t give excuses, please.

Your need to help the broken lost puppies (with this I mean people) will drown you. Please do what you can, and leave if it starts draining you. You tried, it didn’t work and you aren’t a therapist nor a mechanic. Pray for them, you have God on speed dial. He has a way with those puppies. Besides, you have your own broken heart to mend. A woman’s instincts are her blessings and her curse. Obey those instincts because it will save you a great deal of energy.

 I cannot insist enough, accept yourself as God made you. Stop trying to be what you’re not, be true to yourself because God does not make mistakes. If you do not love the person you see in the mirror, you will never be contented, nor be happy with any other person. The pressure to parade your achievements will come. Your mates will get that big job, that big ring, that big house or car, those beautiful babies. Your time will come too, don’t change a thing about you, the world could change its heart and not be pleased by the new you, then what? Who will you change to next? Be you! Besides, everyone is already taken.

Learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable is extremely powerful. It takes daily practice. Take risks. When in doubt, ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen if I try? Try not to walk on the path that others have walked upon. Be bold, be strong, be you. Behold, use that charm and chant some path others can follow.

Growing up, you will experience pain and sorrow. You will also experience unconditional love and support. You will be betrayed, and your heart will be broken. You will also experience times when you are so sad you can’t lift your head off the pillow. Times when you are certain that the sound of your breaking heart is deafening to others. I’m not going to lie, those times are going to hurt, but there will be countless moments of joy and gratification that make your entire world light up. It is important to trust your journey. You have a magnificent life ahead of you. The road will not always be easy, but I can promise you it will be an incredible journey with so many exquisite blessings along the way. When life gets tough, always remember you are a beautiful diamond that shines bright in a world where people have as many preferences as they have types of precious gemstones. Never forget that.

OH, before I forget.  Do me a favor keep off that wheat from that junction at Westlands Bank of Africa. Small waists, flat tummy are kind of a thing in the future. I need it. (No pressure)

See you soon love. Don’t be a worrier for we are warriors.

Love you,

Older self.

Mercy.

A letter to my younger self by Mercy K.